Summer is over and it is back to school time. Preparation tips to make the transition as smooth as possible for both parents and children.

It seems that summertime gets shorter and shorter every year – especially if you’re a kid – or the parent of a kid. The transition into a new school year is annually greeted with mixed feelings of anticipation, excitement, fear and regret. Summer is over and it’s time to go back to the grind. The whole ritual does not only affect the children, but the entire family as a whole. Sleep schedules have to be put into place and strictly adhered to, eating schedules redefined, homework and curfew rules, television, clothing…the list seems endless. As a parent myself I must admit that in my family summer is a time to be lazy – literally bringing meaning to the phrase, “enjoy the lazy days of summer.” But, when school time comes around we all have to work, as a family unit to make the transition smooth and as pleasant as possible. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Bedtimes.

It seems that parents never get enough sleep while their children feel they get too much. After staying up late, enjoying the long days of summer it is time to create and enforce sleeping schedules. Be warned, for the majority this may not be easy but your efforts will be well worth it. You certainly don’t want to send a tired and cranky child off to a busy day at school. Try enforcing new routines two to three weeks prior to the beginning of a new school year. This should give everyone plenty of time to iron out the wrinkles, work through the arguments and adjust to a good night’s sleep in preparation for the busy days that lie ahead.

2. Eating schedules.

During the summer do you find your family eating later and later? Or, perhaps family members have gotten into the habit of fending for themselves in order to adhere to their own active summer time social schedules? Now is the time to put an end to this. A family style, sit down dinner is in order and is a wonderful way for family members to be together and communicate events of the day. Also, keep in mind that lunch is rarely served at noontime in school. It may be a good idea to schedule your meals at home earlier in the day as well.

3. Homework and curfew rules.

Before school starts plan a homework and curfew schedule. Sit down and discuss the rules with your children. Be sure that they know these rules are not to be broken. Is the television allowed on? When is homework to be done? How late is the telephone allowed? What is the school night curfew?

4. Clothing.

Of course, the start of a new school year also means new clothes. Before going school shopping with your children discuss what types of clothing will and will not be allowed. Also, try getting into the habit of having outfits prepared the night before to eliminate some of the last minute, frantic rushing around. Have older kids take responsibility for laundering, ironing and caring for their clothing. If you have younger kids, keep in mind that they will be wearing these clothes all day. Going to the bathroom may be a problem for very young kids if they are forced to contend with zippers and difficult buttons and snaps. Try to choose close that require little effort and encourage them to ask their teacher for help to avoid any accidents.

As a family, work together. Remember, back to school does not just effect the lives of your children but the entire family unit as well. Create and discuss new rules and schedules. Listen to and consider feedback from other family members, they might just have something to contribute that you hadn’t thought of. Once a rule or schedule is accepted and decided upon enforce it. Stand your ground and be clear that there is to be no argument about it. It is possible to start a new school year smoothly and enjoy it.

Feeding children can be difficult, especially if your child is a picky eater. Many parents find themselves having to cook multiple meals when dealing with a picky eater, or resort to less healthy ‘kid’ foods like chicken nuggets, hot dogs or macaroni and cheese. Finicky eaters typically fall into 2 categories- neophobics and picky eaters. A neophobic is not willing to try new or unfamiliar foods, whereas a picky eater is unwilling to eat a variety of familiar foods.

Neophobics may have mothers that are reluctant to try new foods, while pickiness could reflect a real dislike of foods or an effort to resist parental control. Researchers believe that neophobics may eventually learn to try new foods, but this may be innate. Picky eaters are less likely to change habits, but may grow into liking a wider variety of foods as they age. Before you give up and continue to cook multiple meals for your family, try the tips below:

• Offer a variety of foods, but don’t nag, hassle or bribe
• Model good eating behaviors
• Be non-judgemental about food choices
• Do not try to sneak healthy food into dishes your child normally eats
• Offer new foods with favorite dishes
• Monitor your child’s development through regular pediatric visits
• Supplement your child’s diet with a daily multi-vitamin
• Do not use food as a reward
• Relax! The more anxious and upset you are, the more your child may refuse food

Parents may worry that their child isn’t getting adequate nutrition when he’s a fussy eater. But, which nutrients are most important? Carbohydrates, protein, fat? Check out the list below for the top 10 nutrients to focus on for normal growth and development. You may be surprised at how many choices your picky eater has.

1. Protein – For growth, strength and immunity (meat, fish, poultry, eggs, cheese, milk, dried beans, nuts, tofu)

2. Iron – For blood, immunity and normal development (meat, fish, poultry, fortified grains & cereals, dried beans)

3. Calcium -For strong bones & teeth, and blood pressure control (dairy products, calcium-fortified juice, dark/green/leafy vegetables)

4. Vitamin C – For wound healing, immunity and iron absorption (citrus fruit, kiwi, strawberries, bell peppers, tomatoes, potatoes)

5. Vitamin A – For skin integrity, immunity and bone growth (orange and dark green fruits and vegetables, liver, egg yolks, dairy
products)

6. Zinc – For growth, immunity, sexual maturation, skin integrity (meat, fish, poultry, nuts, seeds, whole grains)

7. Vitamin D – For normal calcium absorption, healthy bones & teeth (fortified dairy products, casual sun exposure)

8. Carbohydrate – For energy production and fiber (grains, cereals, fruits, vegetables, dairy products)

9. Fat – For energy, fat-soluble vitamin transport, shock absorption (cook with unsaturated fats such as olive, peanut or canola oil, limit saturated and trans fat, fried foods, high fat desserts and processed meats and cheeses)

10. Water – For digestion, transport & absorption of nutrients. Prevents dehydration, maintains BP & regulates body temperature. (aim for at least six 8 oz cups of water per day)

As I look back upon time, I can say with pure recollection, that family is one of the most important aspects of a person’s life. My upbringing defined me, and my family environment became a part of my identity.  Here are a couple of my favorite quotes about family.

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.  ~Author Unknown

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective.  ~Robert Brault

Family:  A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.  ~Evan Esar

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.  ~Ogden Nash

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.  ~Joyce Brothers

You don’t choose your family.  They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.  ~Desmond Tutu

When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.  ~George Bernard Shaw

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.  ~Jane Howard

And thank you for a house full of people I love.  Amen.  ~Terri Guillemets

Every family, no matter how large, small, or unorthodo, is bound to have arguments and disputes. Whether these arguments involve just two members of the family or escalate to include the whole clan, it’s important to resolve family arguments in a way that satisfies everyone or at least makes everyone feel that they were treated fairly and with love. Here are some tips for mediating a family argument

1. Step 1

   Choose a neutral location. Have your mediation or family meeting in a place or room that is of equal value to everyone in the family and can be considered neutral ground. Rooms like the living room or dining room are good because they belong to everyone and will also be larger so that everyone can sit comfortably and have plenty of room. Avoid smaller rooms like someone’s bedroom, where mediating parties will feel cramped, and the person who lives in that bedroom will feel encroached upon.

2. Step 2

   Let everyone speak. It’s important that everyone involved in the argument be allowed to state their case and voice their opinion in regards to the issue at hand. Letting one person dominate the conversation or the mediation will only cause other family members to harbor resentment for that person and to feel as though their views are not being heard. It will help to have an object or signal indicating whose turn it is to speak and establishing a rule at the beginning of the mediation that only the person in possession of that object may speak. Make the object a neutral one, like a couch pillow or a kitchen spoon and make sure that it gets passed around fairly.

3. Step 3

   Value everyone’s opinions. It is likely that everyone has an opinion on the argument or has been affected by it, even if they are not directly one of the arguing parties. Sit in a circle or on level ground to indicate that everyone in the family has feelings that are worth the same and give every member of the family, no matter how young, a chance to speak up if they feel the need to.

4. Step 4

   Speak with respect. It can be easy to get loud or confrontational with the family member that you are arguing with because, well, they’re family! But remember that after the argument is resolved they will still be your family, and that’s what is important. Make sure that everyone speaks calmly, civilly and respectfully to everyone else at the mediation; this will help avoid escalation of anger and keep feelings from getting hurt any more than they already are. It might help to have a signal such as a red card that the mediator can hold up to indicate that voices are being raised and things are getting out of hand; this can be a signal for everyone to stop and take a breath before continuing.

5. Step 5

   Leave on good terms. Family arguments aren’t always resolved quickly and mediations don’t always result in everyone being fully satisfied. Stay and talk things out for as long as it takes to ensure that everyone involved feels that their issues have been addressed and that the problem has either been resolved or that it is at least going to be dealt with. Even if it’s an issue that can’t be fixed overnight, no one should walk away from a mediation angry or feeling that their time was wasted. Take as much time as you need to be sure that everyone is leaving on good terms and that the mediation was successful.

6. Step 6

   Let it go. You’re family. You’re bound to upset each other now and then. But at the end of the day, you’re still family. So if you’ve talked things out, apologies have been made or steps have been taken to right what was wrong, let it go. Holding grudges and harboring resentment will only push you further apart and make the next argument even worse. As a mediator, assess whether you feel the arguing parties are genuine in their forgiveness of each other and whether the situation has been resolved. If not, keep at it until it’s done.